Monday, June 21, 2010

The forbidden fruit….

From time immemorial, man has always been attracted to what eludes him. It’s been human nature to head towards the “forbidden fruit” (Eve, this one’s all on you).

Anyway, there’s this chick I dig. And the reason for my obsession is simple… she is totally fucking cool, loves Al Pacino movies (how many girls actually like Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate regardless of the fact that Keanu Reeves is in it), big fan of Usher (now this girl’s got taste), tough as hell, loves a drinking binge, “awe-fucking-some” in bed (yeah…she is –wait this should have been no. 1 on the list), likes grunge rock and last but not least she is spoken for (hence the forbidden fruit). Yeah yeah, she’s got a steady boyfriend whom she intends to marry.

Don’t judge us (I don’t have to say this cos’ if you are reading this blog you have already left your “judgmental self” at the door), we are only human… we chat late into the night, get horney online (she gives a mean performance on cam) and met up a few times at my place. The amazing thing is, although we sounded really nasty when chatting n all, when we met up it was quite different. It was not all “fucky, fucky” like we anticipated it to be. We drank, talked (a lot, even about ghosts) and basically hung out and of course fucked our brains out.

But the sad part is, once our “hang out session” ends we have to face reality, I mean I have to face reality. She goes back home, and will be talking to her guy and make plans to meet up with him the following day while I revel in my loneliness. I know it seems so easy to judge her but you shouldn’t. I’m not saying this cos’ I’m into her or anything, it’s just that most of us are much worse and in her case she has the “balls” to actually come clean with her guy, should we get caught. How many of us would do that?

Yes, we are attracted to each other like mad and YOU must keep in mind that attraction is not a choice – it happens. Love being with her, love her company, love the hot, sweaty n nasty sex, love the way she takes care of me (she even formatted my computer and re-installed software and all for me) but hate the fact that it’s all short-lived.

As I write, she is posing for me on cam, in some sexy lingerie (hats off to Midnight Divas, whom I’ve grown to love) and as a result I’m typing with an incredible hard-on.

The best part is she knows I’m typing this right now but wants to wait till I actually posted it, for her to read it, unlike others who would want to read it first before it gets published. Love her guts.

She did admit that I may go down as a crazy and offensive “wannabe blogger”, and I told her that I’d rather go down on her. It gets better – I told her that I would love for her to go down on me as I type this blog and you know what – she wishes the same.

She does have one weird habit though…laughing right after sex. First time, I thought “oh, fuck, she’s laughing at me cos’ I sucked”. I asked her about it and she admitted she does that cos’ she is delighted with the sex. That put a smile on my face.

Also she was wondering whether it’s a bad thing to moan loudly. I told her I loved it cos’ it was reminder that I was doing my job right.

We just made plans to hook up again though and I must admit that I do look forward to it. Anyone who dares to judge, just keep in mind that while “you’re judging we’ll be fucking”. And I intend to enjoy this while it lasts cos' once it's over, it's over, and life as I know it, may suck (at least for awhile).

A dose of sweet & sour anyone??!!


  1. As I was reading this.... how many of us actually come clean about doing something like this. I am sure people reading this aren't saints... but I applaud you for this... and like you said its always short lived...I am just lost for words right now....

  2. I think its beautiful and i think she is really lucky to be seeing like this by you. Even though its short-lived! The memories will always linger! Enjoy it and live in the moment! Hats of to the *gurl-power* Kickass chick & you for writing your thoughts down. Life's short, lets make the best of it!

  3. Hails to u man, really cool the way u've expressed everything..... :)

  4. hmmm..interesting post...and I do see that it's us girls who have commented too, which, in my opinion is kind of sad cos' guys are the ones who always claim to be "bad" and few have the balls to actually be open and put themselves "out there" regardless of the criticism...this post, although a bit (too) intense, is beautifully written. I like the way the words are used and the message too is direct and subtle at the same time. And although i should not be saying it, the girl involved, seems to be in a very happy place right now..good for u girl..i certainly would not mind cheating on my guy, with the author of this post. but then again that's just me...lolzz

  5. I'm so happy and honored to be the inspiration for such a beautiful piece of writing. And I know I will cherish every moment I spend with you (guess you know that by now). Some might judge me. but in a world full of people who try to fake their way through life, I know I am 'Real'..I am me and I'm proud to be me.

  6. @ Forbidden Fruit: Sometimes in life i guess we need to go through certain phases and be with other people so that we know when we do make a decision that we are happy and content in it. I am so proud of you and even more proud that you are proud of yourself. You are beautiful and he sees it and you see it! Its the way its meant to be.

  7. Now this is interesting.Loving the simple direct way of expressing your self and your feelings.Since I know you, i am not amazed by the fact you being this direct in your feelings.This could be the life of many people around us for sure.

    Weigh all these against hers and your mentality and what made you 2 attract and how contradicting everything is when you say she is never gonna be yours. ( and i know you do not want it either )

    This is just the extreme of our normal physical needs? If I know for a fact that I could have a good time with a man and surely can get off with it ( when people like you - who will not boast around and spread things around ), I guess 99% of women would go ahead. Just that everyone is so much being trapped in to by the society and made it look like the biggest sin you can ever do..

    I wish everything changes here too so we all could be who we are.......and reveal ourselves just the way you did...awesome work NS. Loving every bit of it as usual :)

  8. @ everyone who fed in their insights - thanks for the feedback (and love) ladies. I do appreciate it. Great to know that "the male animal" is accepted for what he/it is.

    You know what would have been greater? if others saw it your way too you know. Although the writing was criticized for the content, the writing style was much appreciated (now that's a relief). But as expected the content did ruffle a few feathers and left me wondering whether we as modern day homo-sapiens, are really that much afraid to expose ourselves (at least a little bit) and are just content with pointing fingers?

    I mean does it really make us all feel good to sweep our shit under the carpet and blame others cos theirs is out in the open?

    But then again a certain sense of discreetness is essential but i wasn't name dropping here now was I?

  9. @ anonymous No. 2 - Thanks for your insightful feedback. But I hate to break it to you, that there's no contradiction here. I'm trying to fathom, how you boldly state that "you know I do not want it either". If i din't want her, this post will serve no purpose. It will only remain a memoir of 2 people who are fucking and have decided to spill the beans (a little bit)or even boast.

    The fact that I do want her is what gives this post depth/meaning. Also if it was just a memoir of a sex session, the others would not have bothered to comment on it. They'd have laughed at me. Now wouldn't you agree?

  10. My point is you being bold enough to put it out this way should be having enough guts to have her as well. Just that I find things so PHYSICAL since, it does not reveal or say anything about an emotional attachment !! ( Have you ??)

    And if you really do want her ( i meant for marriage ),how come this blog of yours doesn't have any mention about some VERY important things which you need ?? ( I read it twice to come across something non physical )

    That is why its pretty contradicting !! True you need her and she needs you BUT for sure not for LIFE !! caz both know very well this ATTRACTION as you said isn't your choice but a lifelong relationship wouldn't work that way as JUST happened. It is a CHOICE and you aren't ready to make it. ( NS no personal grudge but my thought just revealed )

  11. I do not speak much of emotional issues, besides the fact that we very much want each other, because there are still a lot of mixed feelings involved and it would be ludicrous to put a label on what we have.

    And no one, not even us, can come to a conclusion that we may not want each other for life because we are still learning about each other. But do not forget that every relationship begins with ATTRACTION. But we humans have the nerve at times to fall for someone (sometimes the craving to just want to FUCK someone is identified in ones confused mind as falling for someone), without knowing him/her properly, and call it LOVE. I'm sure YOU and many others can relate to that at some point. The reason for this confusion is ATTRACTION. We continuously tend to misconstrue attraction label it as LOVE, LUST ETC. when it can simply be a mix of all this.

    “Yes, we are attracted to each other like mad and YOU must keep in mind that attraction is not a choice – it happens. Love being with her, love her company, love the hot, sweaty n nasty sex, love the way she takes care of me (she even formatted my computer and re-installed software and all for me) but hate the fact that it’s all short-lived”. Hope you saw this paragraph when you read the post twice. I’d say this goes a step beyond the physical side of what she and I have. Just for the sake of debate, if these elements cannot lay the foundation for a strong relationship, I don’t really know what else can. Call me an old-fashioned romantic, but besides so many other factors, the simple fact that you WANT to be with your partner can overcome so many obstacles.
    Also my friend, it would be wrong for someone to conclude that I’m not ready for something to come out of this. No one is ever truly ready. Sometimes things happen and you just have to rise to the moment and seize the opportunity and run with it. And if I'm fortunate to end up in such a place, I'm going to run as fast as I can with her (generally speaking).

  12. Naveen!

    Great piece of work! Just one question, have you ever put yourself in the shoes of your 'Forbidden Fruit's supposed to be' guy?

  13. Jan - Thanks for the compliments ;-). To answer your question...
    I just WISH I was her guy cos' right now, I'm just "the other guy". If I was "The Guy", how this relationship goes will be in my hands whereas since I'm "The Other Guy" I just have to go with the flow and be content with the fact that if she choOses to end it all, I have to accept and move on.
    So it is pretty darn obvious that there's a huge shift of power in which guy I am, and bottom-line is "The Guy" is at an advantage and also I admire the fact that as far as I know if he gets to know of this whole ordeal he will be cool with it (she confident of that), and I do envy his ability to do so, whilst I have no clue how I may react.
    Hope this answers your question.

  14. Naveen!

    I think it’s appropriate to cite the P.S on comments posted by Anonymous under 'Moral Bankruptcy – Myth or Reality' which in my opinion is absabloodylutely true! Remember my friend.. 'A Man is a Man' matter what. How sure are you that your 'Forbidden Fruit' though she may choose to end it with you, may not be tempted to continue this? and without a doubt even yourself? Even more awe-fucking-some eh? ;) Again like you said, it is the 'Forbidden Fruit' that man would head towards. Always…

    This is the natural tendency, indeed! However, what is expected of us ‘Humans’ is to hold on to the ‘Human Factor’ rather than falling into the category of ‘Animal’. That is why we Humans are scientifically known as Homo sapiens - a Latin word meaning, ‘Wise Man’.

    With all due respects, would a wise ‘MAN’ (Again remember a Man is a Man) let his wife/girlfriend to be treated more or less equivalent to an educated, sophisticated, talented and unpaid (Monetary wise) whore? Where she steps outside of her house to fulfil the ‘Missing element/excitement’ in her marriage/relationship?

    Imagine living in a ‘Whoreld’ (instead of ‘World’) like that? Where your wife sleeps with your brother and you sleep with your brother’s wife? And then your Brother’s son who is your half son will one day be eventually screwing his own sister meaning your daughter and who is also your brother’s half daughter?

    What a family!

    That is why my friend, our forefathers inculcated cultural values so that man - one who often battles with letting his animal instincts come to play would be eventually bound to control his emotions at least for the sake of his society and its values.

    Remember….anything beyond limits means heading towards disaster. And hence my friend, Morals and Values are boundary walls which are there not to stop us from being ourselves but to stop us from crossing boundaries from living a life of worthiness.

  15. I agree with all what u say about the morals and values and why it has been brought in to the society. But, if you look at the modern society I do not believe that cultural value is the thing that is stopping a man from sleeping with his sister-in-law (just a common example). If he chooses to do so and if the sister-in-law is also up for it nothing would stop him. However, because of the fear for the society he would lie and deny. I do not see how lying can be justified as moral behavior.

    And when I said ‘I no I am Real and I’m proud to be me’, I did not mean that I am proud of sleeping with another guy. What I meant was I’m proud that I am honest to myself as well as the ones I love and care about.

    I admit that this whole affair started based on lust or ‘wild animal instincts’. But, unexpectedly I got emotionally attached to him. I can assure it is not lust or temptation. I love talking with him, love the way he bug me and make me laugh, love resting my head on his chest while I hug him tight. These are the moments I cherish the most. I’m just scared to call it love because I am scared of the confusions and complications that it would cause. Yet, isn’t it impossible to love two people at once (maybe not the same way)? Didn’t we love more than one of our friends or I think the best example, parents at the same time?

    So this is not pure lust and as the author say this is not merely about two people ‘fucking’. I don’t want to justify saying this is moral behavior. But, I don’t see how being emotionally attached to someone can be so immoral.

  16. Dear ‘Forbidden Fruit’

    The example of sleeping with anyone and everyone whom you wish was brought up only to highlight the fact that how things would be if that happened. Indeed in today’s world sadly even in a country like Sri Lanka where traditions are very close to heart, such things are happening. And people do get away with it by lying and denying. But lady, remember one thing…”What goes around comes around” and that’s why I brought the example of a ‘Fucking Family’. You fuck my wife and it comes back to you when I fuck your wife. So basically one should win his or her animal instincts using the gift of humanity and think for once “How would I feel if my Wife/Husband did that to me?”.

    If you claim to be honest to your self, you should walk out of the relationship that you are currently having with the guy you intended to marry. What you are doing here is actually sitting on the throne of advantage and playing with the feelings of two men! And how on earth can you justify your selfishness? And how can you say that you are being honest to the ones you love and care ? Trust me the ‘Love’ you had with this guy whom you were getting/hoping to get married to , just died the moment you set your eyes on the other! Please don’t cheapen the purity of love by justifying your acts.

    What ever the reasons may be for you to have started this affair, the bottom line is that you have developed a liking towards this guy and the love you had for the other has faded rather died long before. Loving more than one friend, loving your parents etc are all fine coz that love wouldn’t effect neither involved.

    You being a woman and other women who may read this I’m sure can relate to the fact that when girls walk into a saree boutique or fashion store, would always want to have more than one. The Orange saree will first look good on you then the blue saree will look really good on you and then the green saree looks amazing on you and so on. This universe has every element in abundance. Choices are plenty. And hence one thing would always look better that the other. Does that mean that you have them all? It’s impossible isn’t it? You first fell for your guy, now for this one and tomorrow who knows you might find someone with whom you may feel that just staring into his eyes alone fills your heart and soul with happiness!


  17. You have to make a choice, a commitment and stick to it my dear. One who chooses to keep changing do exist in our society but are named to be ashamed. Well, the choice is yours as to who you want to be! Be content with one choice or be the choice of many.

    Life is definitely unfair, and that’s without a doubt. But you can’t have the cake and eat the cake. You are a matured female and not a kid who fancies different toys throughout their childhood. Think & act responsibly.

    And, and and….you are not just emotionally attached to this person. You are physically as well. And that is where things start to get complicated! I am not telling you to forget all this special feeling and get back to your guy. Coz I too strongly believe in the fact that end of the day, when you get to your grave all that you take with you is a heart full of pleasant memories. So, if you say that you truly feel happy and special when his arms are wrapped around you have the guts to walk out of your other relationship and make it happen with this one. But don’t just fool yourself and the two guys. Think for a moment. What if you were truly committed and honest to your guy and one day you find out that he was screwing this woman each time he claimed that he was out having a drink with his friends? You may have a heart that will forgive and forget and accept him (But remember, the ‘now generous heart', later may it be man or woman no matter what will someday be ‘cruel’ enough to quote the past. That is also human nature. Now don’t deny this. Coz you are human too and not a Mahatma). But think of how the emotional castle you had built in you, would just burst into millions of pieces pricking your heart and then as if throttling your neck and tears of disappointment running down your cheek? hurts a lot girl. You have to get there to feel that pain. Words can only half explain!

  18. Hectic stuff guys...and as i predicted, this post has obviously ruffled a few feathers, but it's all appreciated because I'm not one to try to "defend" my beliefs (and thoughts). If YOU want to judge me, GO RIGHT AHEAD. I welcome it.
    This blog is just a way for me to "put myself out there" and I appreciate the fact that all of you have the "balls" to express yourselves too.

    JAN - I totally feel what you say and as much as I hate it to admit it, it does make sense. I did notice you getting judgmental but the harshness of your words give me reason to believe that you speak from experience thrown at you by the harsh reality of life, instead of saying something for the sake of saying it. Hats off to you for that and I do feel your pain (if in fact it does STILL exist).
    I know you are going to come off very strongly on me for saying this, but as it is my nature I have to. The opinion about the "purity" of love is something that is like an ASSHOLE...EVERYONE'S GOT ONE. And sadly most often than not it is made out to be a lot more than it should be about, and I daresay that the term has since lost its meaning.
    The hurt you speak of stems from the fact that your expectations you had of your partner were NOT "lived up-to" by him/her.
    Here's the LOW-BLOW - I've also learnt that PURE LOVE DOES NOT EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN. And yet you cry out of disappointment caused by expectations that should NOT have been there in first place. I do understand that I sound like I've got a heart of stone to be saying this (or no heart at all), but my friend, I AM A REALIST and as much as I'm that, I do know she and I may end up hurt because of this (and the possibility of hurting someone else too is present, unfortunately) but like James Dean would say "Dream as if you'll live forever; Live as if you'll die tomorrow".
    I know it does give birth to the question, am I proposing to live my life to the fullest at the expense of someone else's? I do not do it intentionally (although I am aware of it). But people, how long are we going to keep bullshitting ourselves into believing we are PURE and SUPERIOR. We are not. Yes, there is some order in our lives but the harsh truth is, that very order and so-called spirituality has made us destroy ourselves whilst, in an ideal situation with NO humans, the animal kingdom will survive (unless of course destroyed in totality due to some natural disaster) along with its LACK OF PURITY AND SPIRITUALITY.


  19. Da author of diz blog iz a big LOSER wid a capital 'L'

  20. JR - You've already spelled the word loser in Caps. So there's need to say LOSER, with a capital "L". Anyways, maybe I AM a loser. I never did say I was a winner. Also, I do hope you have the intelligence to have a proper yardstick in mind based on which you have evaluated and judged me to be a loser. If you do, I salute you. If not, I pity you.

  21. Nilakshi JayasundaraJune 24, 2013 at 8:15 PM

    I am proud to be your foridden fruit darling mwah